I just wanna be happy. Is it so difficult?!

Nt tt I'm unhappy but I'm sure I can do btr.

It's nv enough, is it?

Can I take unpaid leave & catch up on all my lost slp since 2008?

Hi to whoever who still bothers to read my blog.

In case I didn't mention, I shifted. Yes. I shifted hse, agn. I'm still in e East though.

It's like I pressed e 'Restart' button in my life cus shifting is no feat. This is prolly e first time I'm blogging frm my new place & I've been here for what, like 2 months or smth? I finally shifted to my permanent room cus e mini reno was still going on. Fyi, only the painting & e toilet is done. So for now, I'm living my childhood dream of 'living out of e suitcase' & it's nt really a dream anymore cus in actual fact, it sucks big time. Those who know me should know tt I have a slight case of OCD so this mess tt I'm living in is killing me softly! I couldn't stand it anymore so I went down to IKEA to gt my wardrobe & bookcase (it's called a bookcase but I'm definitely not going to use it as one). WORK IN PROGRESS, STILL.

Aiight, hitting e sheets aft my lousy attempt to pack.


Night ya'll.

It's do or die; no room for anymore tries.

I have set my head & heart to do this so I will & I must.

I rly can just drop it & not care.

Determination Baby;

Tt's all we need.

Guest: Can you make some recommendations?

Me: I'd be happy to. But before that, may I just check if there is anything tt you dont take? Any meat? How abt spicy food?

Guest: Absolutely no! We take everything & anything!

Me: Tt's gd. For a start, I recommend the Fish Maw w/ blablabla. It's pretty..

Guest: Oh no! He dont take fish maw.

Me: In that case, how abt the Sliced Pork w/ blablaba..

Guest: We dont fancy pork.

Me: E egg plant is one of our signature dish as well.

Guest: We hate egg plant.

Blablabla.

Me: For e mains, I will definitely suggest the Crispy Lamb blablabla.

Guest: Oh we dont like e smell.

Me: How abt e Beef w/ blablabla..

Guest: We cannot take beef.

SRSLY? I thought they take everything & anything?!

Will we?

Honestly, I have been e greatest procrastinator ever.

I have been procrastinating for the longest time & I am still doing so despite e fact tt some peeps have kindly brought tt topic up to me.

What e hell is wrong? Isdk.

I have been asking myself e same qns over & over again. W do I see myself in e future? & I always dont gt any concrete ans on this.

I can only conclude tt I committed to a full time job way too soon cus it wrecked my initial plans.

As some may know, my initial plan was to work part time like mad for 2 years, save, travel to places tt I wanna visit,gain some work experience in Europe & use e rest for my University studies.

Till one fine day someone brainwashed me into working full time & now, I am stuck. Big time. I am so used to e working life now idkh I'll manage as a student if I ever go back to sch. Nt tt I am materialistic but let's just say tt I enjoy earning my own keep & nt having to scrimp & save just to buy smth.

DIGRESS: I saw a cat biting crazily at a bird tday. I think e bird ttly deserve it cus I am pretty sure if e bird didn't provoke e cat, it wouldn't be so pissed off as to bite it. Gd job cat. Cont'. End of digression.

You know, working part time rly have its pros & cons. At least working part time allows me to be in full ctrl of life but now? Work is taking ctrl of it.

I keep lamenting to everyone tt "I am only 21!"

Almost all my friends are asking why am I working so hard cus I hardly have time for em. & honestly, I feel bad cus I missed so many outings, so many birthdays & what nt.

I'm sucked in this nv ending hole & I just wanna gt out of it but I cant cus I've alr climbed e ladder. Iykwim cus I have this love hate on off rlship w/ my current job. Paying me gd, 5.5 day for this position, gt to do events. Downside? Frigging long hrs, feel like killing some colleagues & no job satisfaction anym.

I tried leaving. I have had a few job offers but I didn't take up any cus I was simply waiting for tt "OK, I WANNA DO THIS, LET'S GO" moment or in short, I call it my Eureka! moment.

& srsly, if I dont gt my Eureka moment soon, I may just grow old & die w/ this job.

I kid.

I dont need advise, rly I dont. I am just lamenting. Tt's what a true blue procrastinator does isn't it?

I rly rly wonder how different life is now if I took e opportunity to Europe.

I wanna do so many many stuff while I'm young.

I wanna study.

I wanna gt my braces done. (At least I'm working on this one. Appt on 2nd of June!)

I wanna cont' learning hip hop.

I wanna learn French.

I wanna learn how to cook.

I wanna blog regularly.

I wanna fix my computer.

I wanna reorganize wtev I can.

I wanna gt my diving license. (Planning for it)

I wanna learn CPR.

I wanna go to Vietnam. (Fresh one, I know)

I wanna go to Europe.

I wanna work in Europe.

I wanna help people.

I wanna shop at Trioon, egg3 & Alphabelts.

I wanna bungee jump & sky dive.

I wanna remove all scars from my legs.

I wanna try to fly.

I wanna rest well.

I wanna bake nice things.

I wanna do up my room nicely.

I wanna earn more money.

I wanna learn photography.

I wanna gt a polaroid.

I wanna capture nice pictures.

I wanna learn swimming all over again.

I wanna watch all e dramas & videos which I missed out on.

I wanna learn bartending.

I wanna gt a barista cert.

I wanna learn more abt beverages.

I wanna explore F&B establishments.

I wanna learn to operate many electronics stuff.

I wanna know e toolbox inside out.

I wanna know how to fix things.

I wanna do house work.

I wanna be a gd daughter.

I wanna gt a tattoo.

I wanna gt a fresh haircut.

I wanna fix my nose.

I wanna gt an even tan.

I wanna learn to handle personal matters more graciously.

I wanna gt a new computer.

Doesn't seem far fetched right? All of e above needs TIME. & I dont have time. Anw, most imptly..

I wanna gt my ass up to fulfil all tt bfr it's too late.


Yes I am v sane when typing this tyvm.

Ignorance is bliss.

Indeed.